Kenny's View On Life Has Always Been Like This
by Mulan Ayano
Summary: ONESHOT: After finding the ultimate end boring, and gambling on fate, what is there left to do but enjoy life? Mainly it's about life in South Park. Plesae R&R!


**Hi, this is BlackShadowedAssassin. This story you are about to read isn't owned by myself, but it is owned by _Call Me Blue Streak_. He had a small trouble uploading the document, so I assisted on updating it for him. Don't call mea theft, I assisted dammit! Anyway this is his first fanfic please Read&Review! Thank you. Below, there's a _Author's Note _that he want you to read.**

**Author's Note:"My first fiction blah-de-blah, flames will be used to burn your house down, blah-de-blah, if I owned South Park I could be living it up with Matt and Trey right now, but I don't, I'm not, and I'm never going to...Kind of depressing now if you think about..."**

**THANK YOU SO MUCH!**

**OBEY THE FIST! **_Call Me Blue Streak_

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"Kenny McCormick's view on life had always been this"

Given that the universe was such a big place, and given that his one petty, insignificant life was so mind-explodingly small that it would make no difference to the grand scheme of things whether he killed himself there and then, he figured that he wouldn't bother. After all, solitary suicide only serves to force the mind to accept the feelings of loneliness, tragedy and horror they had suffered through in their pitiful life…

…

…And it was freakin' scary.

If a pessimist was shown these opinions, they would have agreed whole-heartedly with the first part, and spat in Kenny's face about the second one. If an optimist was shown these points, they might have laughed, or they would have shared their, albeit silver-lined and fluffy, views on the world with him.

Fortunately, Kenny was neither of these people. What Kenny, being the simple-minded 15 year old boy that he was, could gather from these points is that he should just get on with it. His dying ritual had occurred so much in his time on Earth that he now found it boring. So boring, in fact, that he and his friends made bets on how he would die next. This week Kenny had opted for the burning alive route, fifty big ones if he burned. Sure, it hurt like Hell…

Well, maybe not that much, but even though it hurt, he knew he would come back the very next day. He always did. Almost as if two people had complete control over his life and brought him back to life for some sort of comedic relief…

…Nah.

"Kenny? _Kenny_? WAKE UP YOU POOR-ASS PIECE OF CRAP!"

I jumped up from my sleeping position as my best friend, worst enemy and resident fatass Eric Cartman yelled into my ear.

"Huh, Wha?" Came my muffled reply from underneath my orange parka hood.

"Dude, we gotta meet Stan and Jew-boy, come on." Cartman waddled his way through the door – only barely squeezing through – as I gathered his things together, blinking away sleep as I did so.

'Same old Cartman.' 

If you were to look at me right at that moment, you would have seen a typical 15 year old boy, doing typical 15 year old boy things. One that went to school, had friends and was getting ready for a nice, relaxing, _normal_ evening at the movies.

Naturally, in South Park, nothing is ever normal.

I strode out the door of my social studies class and almost walked into the back of Cartman. I was subsequently knocked over while the tub of lard in front of me barely moved at all.

"Dude, watch it! I almost got swallowed up by your ass!"

But Cartman couldn't hear me as he kept staring at the main entrance of Middle Park High School. I waved my hand in front of his face, one eyebrow arching as I wondered what he was staring at. After receiving no response, the idea hit me to actually _look _in the general direction of the entrance.

I mentally smacked myself for taking so long.

I turned, slowly just to increase the drama of the situation, only to lay my eyes on Kyle - our town's own Jew, fashion victim and nerd – making out with, yep, you guessed it! His best friend's girlfriend Wendy Testaburger! My mouth dropped appropriately.

Don't get me wrong, I thought something like this would happen eventually. Wendy _has_ been out with over half of our year group, myself included, and it was only natural that she got to Kyle. No, the thing that shocked me was that Stan was there. Right behind them.

You might expect him to shout, punch Kyle, start crying, run off or something equally as cowardly. But he didn't. No, what Stan did was much more surprising.

He laughed. Hard.

So hard, in fact, that he began to clutch his sides and roll around on the floor until tears streamed from his eyes. His mirth wasn't shared with Kyle and Wendy, who had broken their lip-lock and were staring wide-eyed at Stan's odd display. By the time he had calmed down, a crowd had gathered around him and confused looks adorned the face of every child.

Stan stood up, wiping a tear from his eye as he did so, looked straight at Kyle and said.

"About damn time!"

I suppose I shouldn't have been shocked, given his previous laughing fit. But the last time this happened he joined up with a bunch of goth kids and it took that melvin Butters to bring him back to normal. I half-expected him to bang his head against the door of locker repeatedly until his brains splattered over the metal. Instead I turned to Cartman.

"What the hell just happened?" I asked him.

"I don't know, dude. I really don't know."

For some reason I was angry at this. I grabbed his arm and led him over to our two best friends… And Wendy. The crowd was starting to disperse so it made it easier for Cartman to squeeze through.

"Hi guys!" Wendy was the first one to notice us. Kyle and Stan didn't even look up from their staring contest.

"Hi… Er… Are we missing something?" I asked.

Stan nodded his head, a knowing smirk playing his head the whole time.

"Yes, Kenny, I believe you are. Kyle? Would you care to inform dear Kenneth what I found so funny?"

Kyle hesitated before turning to look at me. His voice came out a higher pitch than normal.

"Well, you know how we made that bet about your death?"

I nodded, trying to figure out where this was going.

"And Stan chose being impaled by a lead pipe and I picked you dying from shock…"

My eyes widened. They were trying to _kill_ me! Funny, I thought they would have tried to give me an _electric_ shock but whatever. I would have laughed but Kyle cut me off.

"Stan's laughing because we made a side bet that you couldn't die from shock. We… We bet $200 on it… I lost."

Cartman found this incredibly funny and burst out laughing, Stan caught the bug too and laughed with him and even I found myself letting out a giggle or two. Wendy looked shocked and Kyle refused to meet anyone's gaze.

_**SMACK!**_

The loud noise broke through the reverie of humor. I opened my eyes to see Kyle recoiling from Wendy's slap with a red mark on his cheek. Cartman laughed even harder.

"_That's_ for leading me on! Asshole!" Wendy's voice was like acid. She turned to Stan and smiled at him seductively.

"Stan, honey. You know those shoes at the mall I love? They're only $199 and…"

Stan laughed again. There seemed to be a lot of that going on lately.

"Of course, you can have anything you want. Kyle, I'm gonna need that money ASAP, okay?"

Kyle nodded meekly and we all went off to the movies. Cartman with a painful lung from laughing so much. Stan with his girlfriend hanging onto his arm. Kyle holding his cheek in pain and me?

I fingered the lighter in my pocket. I turned around and shot a coy smile at Bebe. I We had a date tomorrow and I needed some extra cash.

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**How was that for a first fanfic? Please Review, it would become a huge appreciation!OBEY THE FIST**_Call Me Blue Streak_


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